Saturday, April 17, 2010


IRONYGULL (voice of Dom De Louisse a transvestite prostiute)
MOTRD. (the mask of the red death)
the lone star SQUID

Friday, April 16, 2010


Im not getting tired of being cryptic.  and I'm not through trying to change your mind.
it either is or is not.

Friday, April 9, 2010


one of U$ lurks among you.
right outside your window.
right outside your mind.
there are monsters.

Sunday, April 4, 2010


I walk in the rain without getting wet.  Dodging raindrops.  I make dancers look clumsy.  skipping steps and looking good all the while.  I'm a fucking ballerina of escapism.  I can control my mind and bend it in ways no one else can.  Stress brings me to life.  and I am alive.  and stressing it.  I'm not going to stop. 

Saturday, April 3, 2010

SPEAK the TRUTH and NEVER smile

The veil of false kindness that this whole fucking culture accepts as reality is starting to get to me.  I can't even get an hour of sleep. I can feel everyone's burning hatred for one another.  I have it in me.  I know what hate is.
I like the t-shirts and refrigerator magnets that tell you not to hate things.  They are comforting.  Television is not comforting.  I can't watch it without screaming at it.  or at the least...screaming in my skull for Armageddon.   Fuck.
We all live in a yellow submarine.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Why i won't do what the voices insist*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(

First of all there aren't any voices.
Second.  If there were they wouldn't have any control over my behavior.
Third. Schizophrenia is a cop out.

SO...i believe in autonomy.
I believe it despite evidence to the contrary exhibited by others.
I have faith in autonomy for some reason...though I have no faith in religious myth.
Perhaps I am a hypocrite.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

The mating rituals of intelligent predators

She wasn't good enough. Her legs weren't the right length. She didn't wear enough make-up. She didn't look up at me when she gave me head.

I can't imagine a better world.

I can't fathom change or complexity.

I can't deal with other people.

The truth is she was perfect and I'm the one who hates everything.
I need some time to think...but I know what the answer is.
I need some time to grow but I know what i will become.

I will become a man, just like every one expects of me.
I will think like everyone else.
I will succumb to the pressure of the modern world and before I ever mate I will always wonder if something could have been done about all the sadness and disgusted rage I had when I was young.

If you live long enough...people are forced to deal with you, because you share their air...not because they know you or love you.

when i think of my wasted youth...
when i think of what could have been...
when i think that we weren't happy any way and that we couldn't take care of ourselves... and everything just got so hard.

When i think this...i miss her the most.

Radical Atheism is not a scam

a universe exists
as we perceive it.
A mind exists as it perceives only itself.
The horror of existence is made plain as each mind experiences the universe and communicates it's visions, thoughts and other information to other minds. As we now know...everything we think is just 1's and 0's.
the horror is the vast emptiness.
The horror is the abyssal plain.
Space. the distance between.
We must find a way to cross.
and live with joy.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Bait and Switch Mechanism

The entire thing is just a trap. No need to explore any further. Don't need to see the inside of the building. I get the creeps just being in the reception area. I get it.

This country has become sick. Or I have, and my perception of this country and this culture have been irreversibly altered. There is no benefit worthy of living life as though you were a vegetable. Grown and put to use. Consumed.
That is our education system.
Our culture consumes the young after growing them.

There is a fire that cannot be put out.

There is a way to explain rage.

There is a way to get people's attention without killing anyone.

There has to be.

Because if any of these things are not true, then I am doomed and I don't hold out much hope for the rest of you.

If we had enemies and they invaded...this would all be rubble in a short period of time.
Since we have no real enemies and the fear we feel is the fear of a glutton...perhaps we should reexamine our ways.

Perhaps not.

Perhaps we should be unapologetic about this place.
Work hard.
Spend money.
Raise your fucking kids.

Go to the movies on weekends.

You can't fight the future when it's already here.

They've only just begun building the big HIVE BRAIN.

It already controls the financial systems of the world and we've seen how well that works. PERFECT.

They want control but it won't work.

The sheep grow teeth in times like these.
Things get worse and worse and then somebody important dies publicly.

You aren't going to be the one.
You talk big but you'd never shoot a cop.
You talk big but you'd never risk your life for your beliefs.
You take comfort in the idea that there might be something for you after death.


Sunday, August 9, 2009

The Clown Messiah and { little boy doom }.

It's fucking hilarious!

Aha. hah hahahahahh.

Children die in the street. Ahhaahaha.

Cancer, Guns, Terrorism, Land Grabbing, MONEY. Totalitarianism. Brainwashing.
disinformation campaigning. Advertising!!!!!

You my good friend are doomed.

They'll probably release the pill/injection/treatment that stops aging and makes you invulnerable to STD's right when your primitive casket is lowered into your moist insect ridden grave. Do us all a favor. Write in your will that you'd like to be incinerated. The living are running out of room. And you can't build condos over a graveyard without moving the bodies and blah blah blah.
You were enough trouble when you were alive. Always hungry and horny and Jesus did you ever complain. All you ever did was jerk off and watch re-runs of married with children. You smoked lots of drugs and were late to work too often. You refused to reproduce and raise children because it was inconvenient for you. "I can't get a good job", you whine...

You own weapons to protect yourself but you have nothing that anyone besides a beyond desperate meth addict would want to steal. You don't have a bank account because you're sure they're corrupt. Of course they're's a fucking bank. They don't fucking do anything besides sit and take people's money. Stop it man. Your fucking killing me.

Ahah ahaaaahhaahhhhha!
I was born gay. I'm a fundamentalist zealot. I'm a celebrity superstar!
Fuck your quaint little culture from the fucking rain forest.
This is America goddammit.
Fuck your army: We have robots.

We will kill you from Vegas and fornicate in celebration at your nation's demise.
Go ahead and nuke San Diego.
We don't fucking care.
I know an 11 year old with an interest in astrophysics.
I knew a girl who lied repeatedly about being pregnant until she had a baby.
I know a guy who's killed people for money.

Who cares you stupid fuck?
Who fucking cares?

Nothing has happened that cannot be explained.
There are UFOs?
There are aliens?
There are psychotic clowns?

What are you afraid of?
Shouldn't you make something up?
That's what every one else is doing.

Well jeez. I don't know. What can I say?
I don't fear your stupid white god. I don't fear the black magic of voodoo and I don't think communism is a threat to my way of life.

I think the only messiah is that voice in your head.
I think doom is something all liars want.
They want it all to end so they can stop pretending to be so sure.
I knew a boy who was killed in a car accident.
His name was Phillip.
His parents were very sad.

Whether you fucking like it or not....from the moment Philip was born he was doomed.

And so my good and decent fellow friend, frolicking and fornicating and ending cultures and spreading the joy of shopping and vacationing in a place where you can fuck a 15 year old girl and have the locals smile at you while you prance on their beaches...fat naked and are doomed as well.

Smile at the demonic face in the sky.

It has atomic eyes.

Monday, June 1, 2009

Light Servant Duty

Dropped 1 hit at work.  It was on a sweet tart.  I rolled it around with my tongue and looked at my boss.  It's Friday and he's going to go home and try to fuck his fat wife and convince his fat kids that he's something other than an obese bar manager.  He tells me stories about his fat kids and his fat wife.  
He's looking right at me while I'm playing with my LSD delivery system.  I can feel it dissolving and I am wondering if he thinks It's time for us to have a talk.  I feel down in my apron for the rest of the sweet tarts.  I have a few more doubles and I intend on taking them all before I leave work at 10.  
He calls my name.
Yea Boss? I say
Come here a second will ya?
I'm 10 feet away, but this motherfucker don't move much.
I shuffle over.
What's up?  I smile into his beady eyes.

He puts a hand on my shoulder and takes a deep breath.
I look around the bar we're both standing behind.
There's no customers.  He begins to laugh.
Hey man, you think you can hold things down while I go take care of some shit?
He uses words like that to make me think he's cool. Or whatever he thinks is cool, because I've heard him talk to other people and he never uses foul language except when he talks to me.

Sure. I say.
I've got it.

He thanks me awkwardly and snaps his cell phone out of his handy belt clip and immediately is embroiled in a heated and hushed conversation. 

As he's leaving he says, "I'll be back in two hours".

Sure, I say.

Have fun!  You stupid Fuck!

The instant the door closes behind him I take out my little baggie and toss a sweet tart into my mouth.  
I stare at the details in the fake granite bar.  I feel the sole of my left shoe wearing thin.  My work pants are stiff because I never wash them.
What the fuck do I have this job for?
You need money.
No I don't.  Money is fake and it's controlled by corrupt banking institutions.
But you need stuff that money can get you...
Oh really?  Like what?
Oh I don't, shelter, electricity, pornography.
You can get most of that stuff without money.
 It's true!  Almost everyday.  
Not in Houston you can' gotta at least have a little money in Houston.
I look at the clock and it's 3:59.
I have to be here for Six hours of servile tedium for 5 bucks an hour plus tips.  That's 30 dollars before tips and before taxes.  I paid 60 bucks for these sweet tarts.

---------When bossman came back I was already getting the little fuzzy edges on things and I definately didn't want to work anymore, so I asked him could I call it a day early?
The fat man had obviously just had sex, now that I was close up and got a good look at him.  Not a split second after I finished asking that question, one of the waitresses came in tottering on some heels and headed straight for the bathroom.  She looked a little haggard.  
I did the math and asked again...this time with more merriment in my voice?

I didn't want to start my trip with these two morons trying to hide the fact that they just had sex.  
I didn't want to be here any more, and with any luck, and if this acid was any good, I'd be well on my way to something else.

He seemed lost in thought  so I popped another tart while he was staring at the ground.
He'd been a manager at Slicks for a long time.  He'd been an accountant after college, but after that whole enron thing, had to take what you could get.
Shit was easier in this town back then.
Cheap gas...blah blah blah.  Everyone had money.  Then sploosh.
Its 2010 and no one has any Idea how the fuck we got where we are.
Not 1 person.
He's breathing heavy when he tells me I can leave at 8.  
I pop another tart.  
1 more to go.

Monday, March 23, 2009

40,000 HELLS....

Lets say that the average human lifespan is fifty years.  (much longer in some places) (much shorter in very few others) 50. 50 years is how many days? 50x365=(it took like 30 seconds to get a calculator out.) 18,250 days.  How many hours are in that many days? 438,000 hours.  EQUALS.
2,628,000 minutes equals 157,680,000 seconds. in one second, hold on let me google something... Cool graph.  But not quite what I need...
oh wait I scrolled down on that page and there it all is.  You can begin to figure it out kind of. Whatever takes place in your mind can be clocked and measured.  (It has not been decyphered yet.) Or maybe it has and they're not published yet.  Or maybe we don't understand the printout or something.  

Man it's been a while i need to look up this word... it's definition is the that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.  I would say that is the definition of intelligence.  basic intelligence.  like the ability to do simple math. 

There are many with at least those abilities.  
SO .... if this is to be trusted...(
Signal propagation speed inside axon90 m/s sheathed, <0.1>

90 millionths of a second... 90 millionths means that you just multiply our total number of seconds in a 50 year lifespan which is...157,680,000...
You would take that number and do what with it?
Remember that its the amount of seconds in a 50 year lifetime of a human being.
157,680,000 seconds  equals how many millionths of a second?  BTW ( fuck scientific notation )
its more impressive when let out fully:
157,680,000,000,000,000 is it nano or microseconds? Any way... big number.
onhundred and fifty seven trillion, sixhundred and eighty billion...millionths of a second.
man if you try to figure out  the amount of individual signals that can be sent in a life time is a very large number.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Real Fine in 09.

I watched religulous.  It was too soft.  Too easy on religion.  It was funny.  But a soft kind of funny.  It was friendly and explanitory.  I liked it.  

I wanted to rip my hair out.

Religion is the culmination of 10,000 years of mythical nonsense that is now manifested as a mental disease.  it is the rejection of reality and the "HOPE" or "FAITH" of something waiting for you when the lights go out.  Something is waiting...

But not what religion tells you.

Total void and darkness awaits you at death.  You will cease to be, and that is all.  

I have no tolerance for religion or religious people.  Human life is beyond sacredness.  Our awareness allows for this universe to exist.  Without us, without our minds, all is chaos.  

Humanity must lay claim to this universe and cast off the simplistic idea that we were created by something.  We appeared.  We happened.  

We will tame the universe and keep demons as pets.

We will bring the gods down from the mountains and prostrate them before the multitudes.

The gods are our inventions.  

All gods.

All religion.

We manufacture myth so that other people will obey.

Do not be confused.

Friday, November 14, 2008

The Last Life

An unappetizing mix of chemical dependency and depression.  The kind of depression that mutes color and sound.  That makes sex uninteresting, and people into objects.  Who is the great and powerful auctioneer?  Who is selling all these slaves?  

There isn't anything glorious about working your whole life.  There isn't anything glorious about a cathedral.   They built the wrong things.  They kept secrets.  Each greedy hand held something back, and never gave enough to make a difference.  

Poverty is not a social disease.  It is a byproduct of the system and it is ineveitable.  There is more than enough money to go around, but we are not the ones in control.  I have no power.  I have no say.  I have to work so that I can feed myself and the ones I love.  Love is the leverage they use against us so that we will not stop working.  The police is what they use when that love turns violent.  We are trapped in a prison.  There is no escape.  All we can do is decorate the walls and watch television.  We can make something and sell it.  We can work harder.

I am drained, exhausted.  My mind is fried.  I've been thinking about thinking about changing my life.  I've been waiting for something to happen, but all that has transpired in my life is arbitrary and accidental.  Everything about where I am from, a place less than 300 years old, is about being something else.  You make yourself a little empire and you crown yourself king.  Ruler of all things.  Master of possibility.  This is the last life I'll be able to make for myself and it has already begun to crumble.  Like a wounded soldier trying to stuff his guts back into his abdomen after a shell goes off, or a laborer tasked with digging a latrine in a rain storm.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Vile{ward} (excerpt from The Last Life)

It is in the eyes of those who see you.  It is in their minds.  You are nothing and you will die alone.
You are nothing but meat and bone.  You are the illusion.  You are the last of your kind.

The street is empty at night, clean of people but still full of filth.  Garbage floats in stagnant puddles and mounds of ants build at the base of light poles.  A burnt down house, just wreckage over a foundation greets me at my back door.  It has been that way for most of the year.  My neighbors saw the fire that burned it down, but I slept through it.  I can't always sleep, but when I do, its usually strong sleep.  

I keep the dog close on the chain while I walk.  He's a pit bull and he wants to run and play.  I tell Him he's a good boy.  He digs his face into his crotch ferociously after a flea or something.  Fleas and other insects are the dominate species in this city.  We just live here in their world.  If they were big enough, they'd have eaten us already.

I don't know why I'm awake at this hour.  The emptiness of the city always depresses me and makes me think about death.  It took me years to realize that I wasn't a victim, but I thought that I would be eventually after all the television I'd watched.  Everybody on TV always has such a hard time.  

I'm walking the dog at 3:00 in the morning and I don't fear victimization, but every time I see someone on the street I prepare for some sort of confrontation.  Maybe they'll say something about me not picking up after my dog.  He leaves grimy piles of shit in the slivers of grass in front of all these nice town homes.  Maybe I wasn't built for city life.  
They grew me in the suburbs.  There's no telling why.

A man is walking down the street about a hundred yards off.  He sees me.  Sees the black dog on the chain.  The dog stiffens whenever he sees anyone new.  The man crosses the street and goes in the other direction.  He avoided looking me in the eye.  He never got close to us.

I'll have to appear meeker if I ever wish to have a confrontation.  Perhaps the pit bull doesn't help.

I can't sleep.  I can smell the sewer underneath my house.  The fleas on the dogs have become resistant to high grade insecticides.  I found one on me while I was at dinner.  The truth of the matter has eluded me.  Am I really just one vile word away from a psychotic episode?  It feels that way. It feels that way all the time.


The shift happened before.  Eons ago, before language and consciousness took hold of our species.  The Dimensions cannot coexist.  30,000 years ago, the cycle completed and life on this planet was subjected to the pain and torment of an accellerated and hellish dimension.  It does not have a name.  In this universe, life forms evolve dramatically and engage in constant combat over resources.  It was early man that first experienced the shift and it forever changed what man would become.  Another 30,000 year cycle is coming to a close and there isn't person alive that is prepared for a world worse than hell.  In this universe beings of dark energy prey on consciousness and etherial parasites haunt the minds of every day people.  On october 30th 2012, the dimensions will pass through one another and humanity will see what has plagued them for the first time in recorded history.  

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Fear and specific unknowns (death and the void of space)

The use of fear as a tool of social control is as old as civilization.  It is the means by which all we consider to be great or powerful has ever been built.  We fear what we cannot control.  We fear death and the unknown beyond.  We fear cataclysm and collapse.  There is no saving us from this fear.  Nothing can assuage it.  We have to face it.  We have to fight our tendencies toward weakness.  We have to look at death and the void of space as a challenge.  Our future is uncertain as long as we fear these things.  As long as we envision others doing our work, we will all be slaves. 
As long as we deny our loneliness, we will be alone.  As long as we are uncertain, as long as we fear, we will be lonely and lowly slaves to our desires, the sins that the church always tells you about.  The truth is that there is no sin in love and plenty.  The moral teachings of all religions are meant to moderate behavior.  Conscious willing participation is required for these teachings to take root and for any behavior modification to take place.  It is easier just to raise children to believe the way you want them to believe.  When you raise a child to believe in something all knowing and all powerful, you handicap their minds.  A religious authority of any kind is destructive towards the goal of peace.  Humanity will believe as individuals.  And they will believe the truth, once they see it.


Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Us versus Them

The Have and Have not Problem:
The monetary system has created pockets of poverty in every country that has accepted the system. These populations generate their own kind of social energy. It is called unrest.

The system is not static, but it does not actually change. Change is viewable and only happens over time. If the change comes to fast, as in nature, it is usually a flood, or a volcanic eruption or an earthquake that results. There are measurable, physical parameters that define equilibrium and balance. Do we need law when we know what we need to avoid things like violence? Do we need the law at all?

The law is used to protect those who have, while the system automatically creates more who are not part of the establishment. The law is written by those who are considered part of the establishment. Self interest is impossible to avoid. We act according to our self interest, or in the interests of those we consider to be important to us. It is exactly this reason why people follow those who specifically say that you should love and forgive everyone, especially those who are least likely to accept it.

Us VERSUS Them *(the big illness)

Truth, Utopia, Doomsayers and Judgement---

The spirit of competition. Professional sports. The lame joke that is baseball. Is everything a Racket? Does nothing happen in this country that doesn't take money from the many and give it to the few? What is the point of being rich? What is the point of being powerful, or even famous? Is it that people listen to you? Are they more likely to listen to you? What is the American ethos? It should be, What is the American Psychopathology? What the fuck is wrong with this country and what can we do about it? I don't think the answer is more entertainment. I don't think more government will do it either. More people equals more government. More government means more taxes. More taxes means more work. More work means more industry. More industry means globalization...eventually.

There is going to be one government someday.

I can't think of any natural laws that would preclude this line of reasoning. Why would they want one government? Why wouldn't they? Who are they? Are we them or are we us? What point is there in making a distinction unless it is for the purposes of government?
Does a nation need an enemy in order to prosper? Do people need nations? All we really know is that people need each other.

What can be described as abhorrent or criminal behavior is just side effects of the big illness. The big illness is not an illness. The big illness is the truth. The truth is pedophilia and ritualistic abuse. The truth is rape, murder and war. The truth is the meekness and the snivelingsubhumanity that passes unnoticed amongst those who hadn't the fortitude to imagine that people were capable of such things. The truth and the big illness are the same thing. The truth is always worse than it seems.

Drop your veneer of kindnesses. Be straight with us. Tell us the worst of it. We can take it. We're strong.
We've been desensitized to violence through decades of grotesque glorification of evil and sickness. We are prepared to accept the possibility that there is no ultimate authority. We are prepared to kill our gods. We are ready to change.

There is no need to panic. The stoics tell us that still from 3 thousand years ago. We knew all of this before. We know what we need to be working towards.

We laugh now at the thought of utopia. But we already passed the point where we could have integrated our technologies and made the world plentiful for all. We have not done so because we could not believe it, what we have already accomplished is something fantastic.

Utopia will never be the truth. Utopia is the antithesis of truth. The definitions are different.

We must feed. We must never sleep. We must have freedom.

Or we can choose to accept the illusion of impossibility.

Impossibility is just as irrational of a word as Infinity.

No thing is impossible.
To be a thing is to already exist as a thought or a physical representation in reality.

God is not a thing. God is supposed to be everything. Every thing. Worship the uncalculated totality? I don't get religion.

Who is the man who would be my master? My teacher? Shall I be judged?

Who is the man who would judge another? What is his name?

Is it Betrayer? Is it Messiah?

There isn't a reason and there isn't a point. The people who claim to know, know so little. The people who are silent know better, but they never say. Confrontation is not tolerated any more.
Even though it has gotten us everything we have now.

The Metacognate (Us vs THEM)

First it was this feeling that being right was more important than being human. We no longer felt our humanity because we were all numb. We were getting fucked up. We were right in the middle of forgetting.

Hell is a place in the mind that manifests itself in reality. We have built a hell no one could have imagined. The totality of it is being made clear for us by the accumulation of knowledge. In a thousand years we will look at what we have made and who knows what we will think then. It's possible that we might tear it down then, make something new. Our history is one of revolution. Of change. The good ideas prevail over the bad ideas. Right over wrong. In the end...what really changes? People still have to eat.

Our core virtues are always the same. Our focus is never with them however, but in how to beat the system. If we perceive it as Us vs Them, then what do we do? IF we are truly at odds, why do we not fight? Or is it that we do not know who to fight or how to fight them? Perhaps it is that we must learn to coexist with every one and learn to share and enjoy this beautiful world, and it is a staggeringly beautiful world.

How do you explain aesthetics to someone who has been tortured as a child? How do you explain to them that we are not all evil? Deep within all of us is the seed of vile hatred that needs little more than emotional starvation to bring it upward and have it made plain for the world to see. If things are going to change, what will they be changing into? Can you make this world livable? Can you make people better somehow? Some truths are so tragic that you can hardly talk about them. There is death of course. There are taxes.

More and more I think that everything is connected. I look for similarities, and I see them everywhere. The system is closed. We already knew that.

Every day is a struggle against what I perceive to be as my mortality. My finite existence. Is morality little more than a hindrance? Do I need to manipulate my way to the top? Top of what? This is not a game. This is not funny anymore.

Movies are made in which characters in the movie talk about the situation being portrayed in the movie as not being a movie. "its not like it is in the movies" they'll say. "This isn't a movie" the heroin says before killing a man in cold blood. Yes it is. It is a movie. It's just fiction. All of it is only fiction. Even the events of your own life are affected by this great art of mass media. These artificial experiences that we all are able to share. I find myself sickened by my own thoughts. I am held prisoner by my skull. My eyelids will not open. " Its not like in the movies"
Its not like they say it's not like it is in the movies. Maybe its exactly that way and we don't want to admit it to ourselves because we see how wrong we are about almost everything.
Maybe we are just embarrassed to see ourselves as real. Bellies full and shit clinging to our ass hair, jerking off to pictures of people we will never meet. Smoking and avoiding police. Judging the entirety of our kind with little pipes made in China. There isn't anything good at the end of this reasoning. There hardly ever is anything good that ever happens after you realize what you've been participating in. If I could see it from space I'd probably throw up.
Why did they kill those people? Why must they steal? Why is everyone lying about GOD?

Not doing so well...

The walls are closing in...There isn't enough money.
Never enough, but I make sure of that.  I lose it.  I gamble.  I'm a fucking retard.
I win enough to pay the bills but I never get ahead.  Its just debt on paper and even when it's all pluses, things don't change.  I'm starting to think that it's not about the money.  It might just be me.

One of the dogs ran off last night.  I opened the door to have a cigarette and off he went into the rainy night.  They don't usually ever want to go outside while its raining,  but I havent been walking them as much and it makes sense that he would want to run around a bit.  It makes sense.

The other dog took off after him and I spent 30 minutes tracking them down in the rain.  
A nice couple happened to be out at 3:00 in the morning and saw Rocky.  They were very kind and helped me get them home.  Cody and Angel were their names.   Thanks to them,  Rocky and Caleb, the dogs got back home safe and sound.

I know they want to run around, but I don't take them to the park.
I am waiting to become famous.  I am waiting to be successful at a carreer.  I am waiting until I no longer feel like killing anyone.  I am waiting until the veil that covers my sickness and my loathing gets thick enough that people cannot see it from down the street.  I am waiting to talk to someone and not feel like I should lie.  I don't lie and I don't have any friends.

It is the reason I am not a victim.  Why I'm sick in the middle of the night.  Why I don't get up at dawn and don't write down what I'm thinking.  I don't imagine anything.   Seeing the world for what it is...its a simple curse.  Every one is just a corpse.  Just a corpse.   Waiting to happen.  Why should anyone care?  Why should I want to comply?  Why the fuck should I?

I do not have much to say on the matter.
I feel as though it is losing meaning.
I do not feel connected.
I feel angry and left out.
I desire...

Things are not going so well.
I am angry a lot and Whitney knows it.  I'm not sure she knows why exactly.  It's not the gambling.  The gambling is just a symptom.  Besides, it pays the bills.  Most of the time.  

Reading the paper-
SHopping shopping shopiinnggg SHopppppppiiiinnng.
The whores of the world are selling...a transatlantic sting operation.  
Sometimes silence just means no.  Sometimes when it doesn't make means you're fucking crazy.  Sometimes the words are saying exactly what they mean.   20% off Sale Saturday. DON'T MISS IT.  Sometimes there isn't a conspiracy, and people just do shit in order for other things to happen.  

Conspiracy has to be the norm.  You don't plan by consensus.  SHOPPING!

Have you ever seen the chaos that religion claims to avoid?  If god and television are the opiates of the masses, then I can say that it is only a matter of time.  How long can this civilization last?
If that is the best they could come up with, it won't be much longer.

And another thing-
I am too paranoid to do anything about anything.  It is called a holding pattern and I invented it.
I get writer's block.  My subject matter isn't strong enough I suppose, to carry the attention of a grown man for more than a few minutes.  There is not going to be a revolution.
THere is not going to be open revolt.  THE HUMAN RACE WILL DIE SLOWLY.  Bled by a multitude of parasites for millenia.  the last of us will probably not bother to bury each other, wanting to get away...we will just leave the corpses rotting in the sun.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Healing through suspicion and misanthropy.

The philosophy of death:
A stark non deliberate reality exists.  Facts build upon themselves and create a structure of knowable, identifiable events.  The foundation for all knowledge is consciousness.  Consciousness is experience and memory.  Consciousness can be manipulated through manufactured experiences.  All entertainment is manufactured in order to deliver a particualr type of experience.  To what end?  Is it profit?  Is it the promotion of an ideology?  Do the people who manufacture experience expect others to respond a certain way?

100 years of Vague Objective Facts:
Population growth has continued.
Media has constantly expanded since it's inception.
Industrialization is spreading continuously.
Human beings have left the atmosphere and returned alive.
Prison Populations have increased world wide. (population growth)
First world nations have been involved in warfare for an entire century.
Literacy has increased continuously.
Laws have been written and passed continuously.

America and its constitution are the largest social experiments ever devised.
We are living participants in an experiement in which any of the rules can be changed according to those who participate.  What this does not allow for is a non participatory clause.  You do not have the right not to participate.  Neutrality is not possible in this system.  You do not have the right to exist independently from the system in which you were born.  Does this explain why self sufficiency and security are such large concerns among americans?  The law applies to everyone supposedly.  Why then is there any injustice? Why is there any confusion?  Why are we allowing ourselves to be distracted and what are we trying to remain distracted from?  

I believe that there is one constant that no one wants to discuss and that it is the source of the majority of political and religious belief.  I believe the fear of death, even just the idea of death has roots in every single thought and action of every human who has ever lived.  I think that a personality developes by interacting with the idea of death.  Once a human being realizes that he or she is going to die eventually, inevitably, their actions will reflect this knowledge.  Do you know anyone who does not believe they are going to die?  Do you know anyone who has displayed little or no interest in their own mortality?  

Could you trust a person who did not believe they were mortal?
Could you imagine living forever?
Would you want to live forever?
What strikes me as most important about living forever is the fact that it might be possible.
What else are we doing but trying to defeat death?
Why do we have hospitals and schools?
Is the whole conglomeration of human knowledge and interaction being manipulated by those with access to resources?  
It would almost seem necessary would it not?

Lets get some things out of the way:
You are not going to live forever.
Your identity has been arbitrarily placed upon you by circumstances beyond your personal level of control.
Your personal level of control has more to do with restraint from violence than anything having to do with success.  
You are expected to play by rules that you did not invent and did not agree to.
You will be punished for breaking even small rules.
You are a creation of every human action that has ever taken place.  
In this way we are connected and all seperate.
Our consciousness is similar but removed from one another.  our perspectives cannot be as one.
They can converge and become identical, but even siamese twins display different personalities.
They view the world separately even though they share a body.
Each mind carries with it, the seed for its own death, as well as the knowledge of its own existence.  Consciousness is the cosmic joke.  We cannot escape our perspective.  We live and we define our limitations, our willful cages of possibility and inevitability while there is a part of every one of us that seeks to escape.  We want so badly for there to be god.  We want the afterlife.  This does not mean that there is either.  The bullet will break bone and the brain will die.  If something happens after that...what we describe as consciousness doesn't.

If there is meaning in life, I believe it comes from the continuation of human consciousness.  I believe that whether or not there is a God is irrelevent to the individual human life.  An idea that transcends time and space and is able to manipulate reality at its fundamental levels is something that reason cannot touch.  It is just an idea.  Death is real. It happens, and no one that is alive right now, if history has taught us anything, will be alive 200 years from now.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Malice and Misapprehension.

Drained of energy and losing blood my consciousness dims and my mind slides toward the abyss that will eventually consume the world.  He shouldn't have shot me.  He knows he shouldn't have fucking shot me.


I always knew I'd die like this.  On the concrete, in the dark, a man with a gun standing over me.
He doesn't finish me off...  Does he want to watch me bleed to death?  What is he doing anyway? I'm too busy playing dead to get my bleeding ass up and ask him.  I can't believe this guy shot me.  I'm in shock.  I've been shot before, but this guy really was a surprise.


There aren't words for pain like this.  He definitely hit something important.  The wound feels hot in the cold night and I'm sweating because of it.  I try to imagine what it looks like.   I'm seriously losing blood.  If I could get to a hospital.  If I could make peace with god.  If I could take back all the bad shit I did.  None of that is going to happen.  I'm going to bleed to death, gut shot by a petrified moron.  There's rules tot hese kinds of engagements.  Do not pull a gun unless you are going to use it, well he obviously knew that one.  But the other one is don't ever use it unless your going to go the whole way.  

Fuck.  This guy shot at me like he was trying to get away from a bee.

I hear a car pull up.  I hear my man get in.  I turn my head and I see a yellow car.  stolen probably.  I can't see who's driving, but I get a good long look at my man while he's talking to the driver.  The driver looks over at me on the ground and I see him mouth the magic words.

In slow motion the moron gets out of the stolen yellow car and walks over to me.  I've bled a considerable amount by now, a neat pool starting to form underneath me, soaking into my $200 jeans.

He walk back to me looking like he doesn't want to put two in my head even though he knows thats what he's got to do.  I know it.  The driver knows it.  

He's being slow.  Stalling.  

Fuck it.  

I draw a .45 left handed and put three in his chest at 30 feet.  He never reached in his jacket, lost in contemplation.  Too bad.
The yellow car peeled off and I just started shooting and walking after the car.  I thought I was aiming at the driver's seat.  But I apparently hit a little high and I saw the drivers head go all watermelon all over the cab as the car thunked into a building about 60 yards out from where I was.  


I doubled over in pain and reached in my front pocket and brought out my phone.  Sticky and greasy with blood.  I called Chapman.  

He answered, "What is it Fag?"

I screamed in to the phone, "FUCK!  59 and Westpark, come pick me up ASS! I'm bleeding to death!

He seemed hesitant...I continued to scream at him.  There was no one around except for my two dead buddies and a whole bunch of empty warehouses.  

I was still screaming at the phone when CHap pulled up in his Caddie.  I hung up.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Game Theory: The S.E.P.S.

In order for a system to exist there must be rules.  Natural law dictates our most basic rules. We must eat.  We must have water.  We require shelter.  These are necessities.  We will die without them.  Our biological parameters are our most basic rule structure.  A violation of these rules is tantamount to self destruction.  Manipulation of these rules is impossible.  A human must eat, drink and sleep.   

There are many other things that a human being must do in order to survive and they will be discussed in later chapters.  Essentially, I accept Maslow's model.  It does not require elaboration.  

We are all a part of a system now.  Several systems in fact.  We are a part of an Eco system, whether we choose to believe it or not, everything we do affects everything around us in some way.  The typical focus of a belief such as this is on the negative effects of our behavior and industry on the environment, and that we are behaving in a destructive manner towards it.  I do not entirely disagree with this view, but I'd like to offer an alteration.  Our current social system, however you choose to perceive it, was built to be deliberately self destructive.  Why do the rich and powerful barricade themselves away from the masses?  Why do we never see the people who we have elected to be our leaders?  Why are the police the only face to face interaction we seem to have with authority?  Why is it wrong to disobey a police officer?  

Inside the ecosystem we have created for ourselves another kind of system, a socioeconomic political system (SEPS) which has rules that are arbitrary and do not correspond directly with our most basic rules as provided by natural law. The SEPS is a kind of voluntary system.  It requires willful participation and it is punitive towards those who are non participatory.  If you are unable to participate due to an illness or handicap, then your chances of survival are greatly diminished.  Your likelihood of prosperity is almost non existent.  If you willfully opt for a non participatory status  you may go completely unnoticed, but if you declare that the whole system is flawed and that it is not fair, or that the rules are arbitrary and can be changed according to the interests of those who established the system to begin with...You might be declared a criminal or a terrorist.  

Civility and (un) Civil disobedience:
What does it mean for a person to be civilized?  What must a person do so that others will recognize them as human?  It has been argued that the system as we now perceive it has been designed to make us appear as less human to one another, that our identities and personalities are really meaningless and that our accomplishments are what should define us.  It is not impossible that this is so.  I grew up thinking that I was born human and that I was entitled to something in this world.  When I grew up I found out the opposite.  You are born in an arbitrary place.  Your consciousness, pure and infantile, is molded by the people around you and by the pressures that they undergo in feeding you and teaching you and keeping you relatively safe from harm.  Most of us who have made it past the age of 18 did so with considerable effort given on the part of our parents.  It is not difficult to imagine exceptions to this, but the question is about what it take to be a civilized human being, not how much time and effort it takes to raise a child to the age of 18.  
Is it possible for a human being who is considered to be civilized to be a willful participant?
Civilization exists as long as rules are followed.  If we change the rules, we change civilization.  
How do we get to change the rules?
There are many people whom we could pose that question to.  We could ask our congressmen and senators.  We could ask lobbyists, bankers and high ranking military officers.  We could ask the CEOs and board members of international banks and corporations.  We could ask our parents, but what do they know about changing the rules?

There will come a time when authority is recognized only as an illusion and a part of our past.  A system of willful participation that is non exploitative will exist on this planet some day.  Our technological and scientific accomplishments will someday free us from oppressing ourselves.  It may be that one day, the rule of profit no longer matters because there is an abundance of everything.  

If we no longer work to feed ourselves, but only work to feed others, then perhaps we will have developed a purpose.  

If we continue to focus on ourselves the system continues to self perpetuate.  It will grow larger, and it will eventually collapse.  But not in the way some people would have you imagine.  What would have happened if the 2008 bailout wasn't passed? Would the world economy have crumbled?  Would people no longer eat, because banks couldn't collect on their loans?  Would the soil have stopped producing grain?  

A new civilization of abundance must be sought.  We must find a way to feed our great grandchildren that doesn't involve the self destructive behavior of entire populations in order for a few to prosper.  There could be magnificent cities, as they are, they are but grids, filled with cages.  There is nothing to fear.   We can do better than we have.

Peaceful demonstration vs Violence.
Violence is a part of life in as much as you are prepared to use it or have it used against you.  If you are prepared to experience violence from others, then you are probably more likely to inflict violence on others.  Those who are unprepared or unwilling to experience violence themselves might be far more likely to inflict violence upon others in order to protect themselves from it. Self Defense is the only truly justifiable use of violence.  A demonstration is a confrontation.  A confrontation does not have to end in violence, but they often do.  Discussion, while preferable to violence is not what goes on instead.  What usually happens is that each side declares themselves immovable and the more powerful side uses violence to enforce its viewpoint.  This can be seen in the discipline used on children by institutions and parents.  What is the best way to get your point across?  Must the threat of violence always remain?  What could an open dialogue do to improve the functioning of the system?  If we could question all the rules openly would we change anything?  What would you change if you could?


Friday, October 17, 2008

New American Factualism

Hedonistic tendencies. (Seeking Pleasure Avoiding Pain)

The American experience is hedonistic.  Pleasure seeking behavior is overwhelmingly the norm.  Unless you consider work an unbearably painful experience, even our daily toil is a kind of pleasure, something we can eventually derive satisfaction from.  We work to live, and we assume that if we did not work, that we would starve.  But is this the case?  If we all stayed home, what would get done?  The daily routine of seeking pleasure and avoiding pain has everything to do with the wider social order.  The status-quo is what is routine.  The mundane aspects of daily life are the most relevant to everyone except when they are trying to avoid them in preference to something else.  I.E. Sometimes people just want to get fucked up.    People want to impress others, want to be seen, want to be loved.  People want things yes, but what are they willing to sacrifice to get them?
Some are willing to sacrifice the well being of their fellow man in order to fulfill even the simplest of pleasures.    I would wager that if you examined the lives of both the very wealthy and the very poor that the levels of substance abuse would probably be similar.  If this were true...would it mean anything?

Decadence and social decay. (The economy of competing values.)

What values have been put forth in this country as core values?  What does value even mean?  I might be confused as to what it really means so I'll attempt to make it all a little less ambiguous.  
Value is either intrinsic or inherited.  Tools and items of basic survival have intrinsic value.  They are either consumed or are used to acquire consumable goods.  Much of the urban population of the united states does not trade in items of intrinsic value.   A person's time is worth what?  One man's time is worth $400 an hour, while an other's is worth $6.  Their inherited value is different from their intrinsic value.  This is the biggest problem with modern capitalism, and depending on where you are in the value system, you may not perceive it as a problem.  If you trust that the end result if the system plays itself out, is an egalitarian and enriched society of free thinking individuals, then things like abject poverty are just casualties of war.  But we know different. Economic activity should not create poverty but eradicate it.  What is happening in America to create such a disparity in wealth?  Who is making all the money and why must some struggle and fear tomorrow?  Why has money become the main focus of human life?  It costs money to eat, to be educated, to get better if you are ill.  Etc.  The only thing you have is time, if your time is worth less than other people's. what does that mean about you?  

The irrelevance of mysticism, prayer, and god.
Look closely at your life.  How often do you think or talk about god?  Every day? Every hour?  
Muslims are supposed to pray five times a day.  Why do you think that is exactly?  
Whether or not any one believes in a god is almost entirely irrelevant when considering the survival of the species.  The human race is either one or many.  The individual should be at the center of all discussion, but somehow it always ends up being god.  If the same reverence were shown to the nature of man that was given to the false purity as proposed by holy books, then things might have already improved past the point where we are currently.  
We already live in an atheistic society.  People give lip service to a number of gods, but do little to help humanity along.  All we have to offer each other is our support.  God does not heal broken legs..given the right set of circumstances, the body heals itself.   If left in a state on neglect or decay...things get worse.

Factual reliance. 
In any discussion a there is an inherent reliance upon factual evidence for there to be any coherence.  Even when speaking about abstract concepts, there is always an inclusion of everyday experiences that the abstract concept explains or is being explained.  Human being are empirical creatures, which means they build knowledge based on experience.  If you are not allowed to experience something, how can you know anything about it?  Why are things forbidden?  Who has the right to forbid anything?  If we could all agree that murder is wrong, then we could all forbid it right?  And what punishment would be suitable for a murderer condemned by those who universally agree that murder is wrong?  Our soldiers kill people abroad, but it is somehow not murder.  The willful taking of a human life should be just that.  It results in death and it is all murder, except when it is an act of mercy.  That is a differentiation that requires factual evidence of consent or suffering.  Those pieces of evidence are fairly easy to come by.  People will tell you if they consent to something and it is often easy to see if they are suffering or not.  

Institutional dependency.
Universities, Corporations, Banks, Prisons and a self perpetuating government bureaucracy that gets larger along with the increase in population.  If we do not expect to enter into another global conflict that will thin the population of working males, then something must be done to accommodate them.  Military service is one of the best ways to institutionalize a man who might otherwise be your enemy or usurper.  You give him every thing he needs, and his responsibility is to be a good soldier.  To obey.  Why would anyone want to sign up to join an organization that requires obedience?  For some obedience is not the issue, but security.  Institutions of all kinds promise security, but in defense of what.  The Military might send you off to die in battle.  A bank might invest your money poorly and go out of business.  A university might build new side walks instead of offering more courses.  There is no over arching authority that can tell us whether or not we are getting a fair deal, except for our own judgment, we are entirely alone.
We rely on institutions to be there and for their goals to be achieved, but are we willing to contribute?  What are any of you willing to do to achieve your goals?

Personality development. (nurturing is natural) (the need for a reordering of psychological study)
There are innumerable sayings and commonly used idioms having to do with raising children.  Since we have not vat grown any human beings yet and every human life that has ever taken place had to do so through the coupling of a man and a woman, or at the very least, the sperm of a man and the egg from a woman had to meet.  Since this is the case, and no outlying statistics may be introduced such as; babies made in laboratories are more resilient to the flu, and so on, we can deduce that personality development is a naturally occurring thing.  Nurturing is natural.  There seems to be a focus on studying disorders instead of studying people. There are rules that govern human behavior, but they are not the central focus of modern psychology.  We want to understand the brain.  We want to understand everything about ourselves and the universe.  How can we do that in one human lifetime? So far I don't think that has been accomplished. 
A good worker.

Avoiding the fall.

Your fellow man.

Predictions and other falsehoods.

 Power, Influence and Hierarchy.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

The Atheist

Paranoia and suspicion come off me in waves.  I stare into the fog surrounding everything and look for clarity in all the grey between definitions and meaning.  There isn't a god.  It was all a lie.

40,000 years of lying and faking.  Television has made it easy to lie through the mouths of the most beautiful and convincing of humans.  There is no truth in god.  There isn't one.  

The simplest of explanations may be the hardest to accept.  That the natural world is hostile. 
That human nature is duplicitous.  That death is the thing that rich men fear.  
Why should I fear a lonely death?
Why should I quake at the thought of someone else's ghosts?
You can raise ten generations of humanity to believe in anything...
The reach of authority goes only as deep as individuals allow it.

With the promise of safety and comfort and even an afterlife, how far could it reach?
Into the minds of children no doubt.  Let them grow without being told about god.
And see what they become.

A god provides a reason for disparity and greed.
It gives the wicked a reason to believe they are righteous.  
It confuses the issue..which is of course the same as it has always been.

Who's genes get to populate the future of this world?  Who's ideas?
The simple explanation is usually the most frightening.  God is too simple to be believable any longer.  

I reject the spirit world.
I reject the idea of God.
I reject the promise of heaven.
I reject the threat of hell.
I cannot help a man who believes contrary to what he has witnessed.
I will not trust a liar. 

I will not fight for the rights of the wealthy and  powerful.
I will not pray.
I will not bow.

There is nothing to substantiate a belief in any god.  A system of interpreting the world that lifts responsibility from the individual and places it outside reality is just a trick of language.
A corpse is no less a corpse.
And we will all be corpses.
Just wait and see.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

A mirror facing it's self.

Hollywood title: Mirror Man 2 
What would anyone do without reflection?  
What if you couldn't see your face?
What if narcissism was declared illegal?
What if self-obsession was the root of all evil?

Monday, October 6, 2008

THE ALL E. GORY of the C.A.V.E.

I don’t know how many of us there were total, but we were moving.  Walking in groups of thirty or forty and unevenly spaced.  The place we were in was a cavern or a bunker and very wide and dark.  I couldn’t see the edges or the ceiling but I had a feeling it was lower than I thought.  The negligent light came from little strips on the ground.  I couldn’t remember why I was there and I was beginning to wonder why I didn’t have an urge to get out of there.  I remember something about not liking crowds.  Nothing else came to mind.  

The people around me seemed like they were in a trance of some kind.  They didn’t look at each other and didn’t notice me looking at them.  It seemed as though we were all close to the same height.  I saw the other groups through spaces between the others in my little group.  They behaved the same way.  A steady rhythmic shuffle, following the little dim lights on the floor.  I realized we were all wearing the same clothing, or at least the same color clothing, like a uniform I guess.  I knew what a uniform was, but I couldn’t remember ever seeing one.  I couldn’t remember my name.  I knew I was human.  I knew that.

I couldn’t say how long I observed all of this taking place.  I couldn’t be sure any of it was taking place at all.  It was like waking up to darkness.  The strangeness of it didn’t reach me, only the gloom.  I had nothing to compare it to.  I was starting to feel frightened.

There were mostly men in my group but I saw some women.  Maybe five or so.  They all looked about my age.  But I didn’t remember what my age was.  I felt blank and tired.  I felt like I had to keep moving.  

I craned my neck to try to see ahead of us and I saw a man in the center of another group hopping up and down every few steps.  He was looking too.  He’d woken up as well I guess.  
We both hopped up at the same time and he was looking at my group.  He saw me.  We both jumped again and I heard him faintly calling.  

It hadn’t occurred to me that I could barely hear anything and that the people walking next to me made no noise.  That’s when I noticed the earplugs.  I reached up and touched my right ear and immediately felt a searing pain rush through my body.  I wanted to stop, but my body kept moving.  I looked through the forest of shoulders over where I thought the jumping guy’s group was.  
I had a sense of something moving over head.  I felt a vibration in the floor.  And I swear I saw something moving on the ceiling.  Some sort of mass about 15 feet above me moved very fast and hovered near the jumper’s group.  I thought I heard him.  I jumped and tried to look.  

I saw tendrils from the ceiling envelope the group, which continued to ignore the man and still managed to keep pace with ours.  The tendrils made no noise and I somehow felt no fear, like all of this was meant to be.  I looked around at my group and no one seemed to be paying any attention.  They were asleep or something.  

The tendrils coiled back up into the ceiling.  I think that I saw a body go up with them.  I can’t be sure.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

The CURSE OF THE DOUCHEBAGS (tuppence and birds)

Hello america, I'm Dr. Thadius Midnight, PHD.  
I study rich people like lab animals.
As you all well know, something horrible has happened to a large segment of the rich and powerful population.   Several of their world banking corporations have gone under, in what will likely be known as the most hilariously overblown going broke story ever told.  Rome falling wasn't as good as this is going to be.  There are those in the world who would want something catastrophic to come from this.  And it will, but for just a few rich and powerful people.  The problem is going to will they handle it?  That is exactly what I intend to find out in this weeks episode entitled: Curse of the OLD WEALTHY (ALMOST DEAD) DUCHEBAGS.  

Entombed beneath mountains of uslessly inflated currency, the mummified corpses of once powerful and godly figures of international finance wait in the afterlife....they wait for their faithful followers.  Millions of loyal bank customers are eagerly poised to enter this ghostly ruin and resurrect them with the sacred golden elixer of life.  They must have the elixer to rise from the land of the dead.  In addition to their loyal followers are the armies of warriors who know that they are useless without their masters, and that in order to make war, they must have their gods of finance and they must be fed. OK enough of that....

International banking is world wide parasitic practice that masks the accumulation of wealth by a very small number of people at the expense of a great many.   Economic growth is only a byproduct of usery and only happens because people are willing to labor for what they have.  These people who lost their livlihood are not willing to work for what they have.  They are not your friend.  They expect you to toil your whole life and they wouldn't help you if you needed it.  They don't need it and we don't need to help them.  Tell them to start over.  Tell them to go ask someone else, like CHINA.   Tell them to get a job that pays below a living wage and tough it out for three generations before one of the family goes to college.  I can't believe the gaul of these people, and of those in government who are falling over themselves trying to keep the dying part of the beast alive.  LET IT DIE.  WE WILL SURVIVE.  

I take that back...I can believe the gaul of these people.  
Most of them are third and fourth generation wealthy, so they cannot even fathom what life is like for most people.   I emplore everyday people to speak up about this issue.  Times are hard for some of us. Others are doing pretty well.  We agreed to pay the government that money so that they would use it wisely on our behalf.  THEY MIGHT MAKE AN ENORMOUS MISTAKE.
SPEAK YOUR MIND.  Those rich old douchebags are and they might get what they're asking for...what do you think the debate is about...

it's not about whether or not to give it to's how to convince us that it's necessary to prevent collapse.  

but that doesn't mean we wouldn't work to avoid it.  
working to avoid does not equal the single largest governement kickback in human history.  

Lets let those companies close up shop.
Lets whether the coming POTATO famine or whatever.
Lets keep our TUPPENCE and go feed the BIRDS. 
Tell those douchebags to go fly a kite.

Monday, September 29, 2008

The Urchin: subhumanstreetlifeform


From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Urchin or urcheon is the old English term for hedgehog. As such, it is applied to many things that take a similar form to a hedgehog:

  • Sea urchins are spiny sea creatures that are round and prickly like hedgehogs.
  • In old theater, urchin was a common name for an elf or fairy that took on a prickly appearance.
  • The word "urcheon" is used to refer to the hedgehog in heraldry

It may also refer to:

Where Can I Get That Good Life?

THREE DECADES OF DECEPTION From people who have made a comfortable living claiming to be our leaders...

Main Body to be Posted OCT.2nd

Sunday, September 28, 2008

MISSLEYARD: The New Album!

South East Texas Based Metal Band, MISSLEYARD Releases their third album, BUYSuiCyanide on Friday this week.  We ran into them at HorrorThon is Austin after a midnight screening of "The Original"  Doomsday Deluxe.  They sat with us and smoked a joint and they agreed to tell THICK SKULL about their new album.  Being such big fans, Brian and Myself were pretty excited, but we managed to keep our heads.  The man himself, Voral Bindhi the Tibetan guru turned pagan rock god turned his one eye toward us and tells us.
"the new album is called BuySuiCyanide... 
I decided to interject, "What do you think the significance of..."
He interuppted me,  "BLIND Psychotic Death Metal From Beyond the Void... that's the subtitle.
There was long and uncomfortable pause in which Brian later tells me he was sure he would be eaten.  Perhaps it was the weed, combined with the bands sordid history of canibalizing groupies.  
WHen I brought this up, Vor just shook his head.  
"We don't eat people man."  He said earnestly.

The first song on the album is titled Buy me a Religion Daddy.
Whats that about?


So Are you guys excited about your upcoming european tour?


It was at this point that I realized I was talking to one of the roadies and that the rest of the band had gotten on their bus and left us out here.
I must have zoned out.  Brian was probably too stoned and didn't get any of it any way.
"Brian did you get any of that", I yelled.
He answered from somewhere behind me, Yea I got it.  
Look for this Video and More about MISSLEYARD's new Album: 
Blind Psychotic Black Death Metal From Beyond the Void

Is Stores and Online.  August  2021.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Theres no hope...there is no vision.

God is the lie that makes minds into slaves. The universe speaks to us all. Kills us all eventually.
Personifying it doesn't change the truth. Obsessing about death and paradise is a human tradition. There are so few possibilities. Each day you will live or you will die. You will be well or grow ill. You will learn or you will forget. You will wake or you will sleep. there is no in between.
There is no hope. There is no vision for tomorrow, only billions of people acting as they have been taught. Doing as they are told.

Who is fit to be your master?
Who would have you as their slave?

What liberties would you trade for comfort?
I have no liberty. I have no control. I have what little comfort is allowed to my class. I must join their clubs and go to their schools and subscribe to their ideologies and then I can be free.
I must sign papers that commit me. Bind me.

I must do the things that are required of me so that I am percieved as whole.

For those who would save the world...

The world is in no danger.
It is we who are destined for extinction.
The earth will survive. The planets will not lose their orbits around the sun because a few billion mammals die.

The gravitational cataclysms that are black holes will not stop. Matter will still be created and destroyed.

We will no longer be here to percieve the process.
There will be no witnesses.

All of known history is our history. We have been the only ones to keep a record. So far that is irrefutable. But if this is so why do we insist on placing a kind of spiritual responsibility outside ourselves. God is the perfect scapegoat for all of our failures, and the perfect explanation for why things are the way they are.

If the world seems wrong to not blame god. Observe people's behavior and try to detect whether or not they attribute their success or failure to god.

It is human imagination that has put meaning to everything in the universe. The human mind is the only lense through which any of this can be explained or interpreted.
Science was born not of superstition, but of failure. Constant failure led to each success. A hypothesis must be concieved before it can be tested.

WHere do they come from? From god?
They come from inference and pattern recognition. They come from human intuition, the mechanism that allows us to process more information that we are conscious of...sometimes a brilliant thing happens. We explain something.

The belief in god has not allowed for any of the things that have improved human life.
A belief in god is a rejection of free will.
A belief in god is the way of the coward.
It is a good reason to kneel before another man and call him your master.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008


The campus for the company was bigger than the school.  There were a lot of people walking around.  He was nervous at first but he adjusted.  The food is good.  TV is good. There are movies and lots of girls running around.  They are pretty and young and they giggle a lot.
They like the movies.  They like the TV. Johnny pretends to like these things so that the girls will like him.  

They'd like him any way.  He is tall and kind of handsome in his way.  He has dark hair and dark eyes.  He looks like he's from europe when he dresses for the winter.  A girl told him that when he was at school.

They taught him lots of things in school.
He learned a lot.

He learned how to be an artist and how advertising works.  The contract he signed had him doing ads for a big company.  the ads were pre designed, but they required a personal touch so that CUSTOMERS wouldn't reject them.  Most art and literature was generated within the oligarchal cabinet, the most prestigious contracts came from there as well.  He hoped they would give him a contract for a mural someday.  He'd seen a mural before, just once on the train to his new contract home at the company.  

It was a giant solemn face on the side of a building.  Underneath, in huge letters, was written: 

He thought he knew what it meant at first.  He had seen those words together at school.  His understanding of the people's english was superb.  His instructors had told him so.  He felt that his good education was a good reason to feel real guilt, which was necessary his instructors had always said.  It was necessary to make things work for everyone.  It made things better.   IF you felt real guilt then you were a good person.  Being a good person was the most important thing of all.

He'd like to be the one who made those pictures for everyone to see.